Monday, December 18, 2006

Three ways to make a better world – Norway

1. Redirect Christmas consumption

This year Norway will spend the obscene amount of 6.6 billion $ preparing for the holidays. This means that the average person will spend 1500 $ Christmas shopping, and 435 $ on presents alone. Instead of buying crap that goes directly to storage, is exchanged the next day or simply thrown away, the Norwegian people could erase Togo’s external debt in just one month.

Plus, we wouldn’t have to deal with children like these:

2. Get some perspective

There seems to be a widespread stubbornness in this country, leading some people to place enormous restrictions on what is to be considered “Norwegian.” Every little thing is turned into an opportunity to discuss the downsides of immigration. When researchers worry that Norwegian drinking patterns stand in the way of integration, commentators exclaim that “If they don’t want to be like us, they can go home.” An article about a Norwegian politician holding a speech in parliament under the influence of alcohol is in the comment section somehow magically followed by xenophobic rants, even though this instance had nothing to do with multicultural issues whatsoever.

The most irrelevant cultural differences transform into irreconcilable conflicts. In a recent TV-documentary, the filmmaker interpreted the smell of curry from the neighboring apartment as the immigrant family’s way of intruding on his private sphere. People protest profusely against Ikea designing a hijab as part of the uniform for their Muslim employees. The discovery that most slaughterhouses perform Islamic rituals on all animals, not just those that are sold under the halal-label, leads to outrage and fear that Norway is heading towards Islamic rule.

If we think that the blessing of animals is a silly routine, why care that the meat we eat is made holy in the name of a god we don’t believe exists? Why worry, when we can be happy? The ninth Satanic Rule of the Earth states that one should not complain about anything one does not need to be subject to. Even if one doesn’t buy into the doctrine of Satanism, this commandment makes a useful mantra. The world would be a far better place if people gained some perspective and reserved their aggravation for more pressing issues.

3. Start with the Man in the Mirror

A lot would change for the better if we listened more closely to Michael Jackson. There is even scientific evidence behind his claims. The theory of facial feedback states that emotion is the experience of changes in our facial muscles. If you smile, you become happy - if you frown, you become sad. It’s simply a matter of pragmatics. One does not attract bees with vinegar. If life deals you lemons, don’t cry – start a lemonade emporium!



Blogger Rebelde said...

I didn't know you had so many issues with immigration in Norway, tolerance has always been a problem but I wasn't aware that you have it there too. I agree with the "Man in the Mirror" change 100%, we usually spend more time criticizing other people instead of improving ourselves.

7:05 PM  
Blogger Deep Sea said...

Very well-written.

8:28 PM  

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